29.6.09
23.6.09
19.6.09
about the text i have written and posted down below i should say that "you don't have to be a scientist to do experiments on your own heart" (quoting Jeff Lewis that is) and so, in case you are wondering, it's all about an experiment that subverts the scientific method to reach deeper into a scientist's soul and his beautiful, soulful son.
so i love dreams. i really do. specially those in which you are in control and wide awake. well i love the Freudian ones too if looked at through Freud's genius teachings or otherwise no teachings at all - that is always the best approach, not to mention that it seems to be the hardest to achieve too, but that's probably just silly me always trying to submerge knowledge and facts into the nada.
so i love dreams. i really do. specially those in which you are in control and wide awake. well i love the Freudian ones too if looked at through Freud's genius teachings or otherwise no teachings at all - that is always the best approach, not to mention that it seems to be the hardest to achieve too, but that's probably just silly me always trying to submerge knowledge and facts into the nada.
16.6.09
a day that could be spent sleeping in your dream. my dream. i hate dreams. sometimes. the way we lie because of them. the way i force myself into being strong because of them. the way history repeats, our history repeat, my head is numb - i dreamt too much already.
yesterday and today. all the long days i have been spending in the dream of ours, nothing but a dream. i wanna touch it, smell it, make it real, find the words. but it's not valuable. you are valuable. you are all that matters but the air we must breath. we must keep on inhaling / exhaling, day and night, despite the rest - what a useless horror. i wish not, not a dream, please not that, i hate dreams, sometimes, maybe too often. all i want is to find the courage to fail over and over, as much as necessary, so i never need to lie, and specially never to you. the one that is all, will always be all, in and out, the thin particle that is, my dream come true, repeatedly changing, always you, several surroundings, several moral beliefs. i fear not. your law is my law, your blood, my blood. we contaminated each other right from the start. there is no way around it - your judgment will be my judgment too whether it is kind or evil it will be real. that is the only way i can know the distance that sets up apart, and yes, that much knowledge is needed. i always knew we were not the same but that we would always belong to each other, somewhere away from here, and there - i tend to think of it as the void where we came from and to where we will return in the end. but right now, on this very same instant, i also want us to be sincere, down to the bone, every day of our lives, no matter what awaits ahead, may it be joy, if it must also pain, i am ready and convinced. we must not go on in a dream, but right in the middle of the filth that is what seems to be real, true, all we have it's way too much already, don't hope for something that does not belong.
yesterday and today. all the long days i have been spending in the dream of ours, nothing but a dream. i wanna touch it, smell it, make it real, find the words. but it's not valuable. you are valuable. you are all that matters but the air we must breath. we must keep on inhaling / exhaling, day and night, despite the rest - what a useless horror. i wish not, not a dream, please not that, i hate dreams, sometimes, maybe too often. all i want is to find the courage to fail over and over, as much as necessary, so i never need to lie, and specially never to you. the one that is all, will always be all, in and out, the thin particle that is, my dream come true, repeatedly changing, always you, several surroundings, several moral beliefs. i fear not. your law is my law, your blood, my blood. we contaminated each other right from the start. there is no way around it - your judgment will be my judgment too whether it is kind or evil it will be real. that is the only way i can know the distance that sets up apart, and yes, that much knowledge is needed. i always knew we were not the same but that we would always belong to each other, somewhere away from here, and there - i tend to think of it as the void where we came from and to where we will return in the end. but right now, on this very same instant, i also want us to be sincere, down to the bone, every day of our lives, no matter what awaits ahead, may it be joy, if it must also pain, i am ready and convinced. we must not go on in a dream, but right in the middle of the filth that is what seems to be real, true, all we have it's way too much already, don't hope for something that does not belong.
15.6.09
Last friday night I took esfero on a surprise concert to watch Karl Blau in De Nieuwe Anita. I must say that I enjoyed the concert very much despite the fact that no one seemed to really care about Blau being there, in the middle of the room, giving us all he had. The room was so loud that at one point Blau said that the whole thing wasn't working out and that he would leave the stage. After a few of us asked him not to he shyly reconsidered and right after started doing a much more aggressive version of one of his very quiet songs. That was actually the only moment during the whole show in which the crowd was in tune with him. However, by that time his heart was long broken.
I felt quite awkward too.
It takes a certain type of musician to get up there and do the whole deal on his own. It takes a even more radical type of musician, or male to simplify the matter, to get up there, be "naked" and honest about how he feels. Karl Blau plays it interesting, honest and free and that's what I most like about him. So when the concert was over I walked up to him, which is something I never do, and told him something nice, from heart to heart.
Now that I have seen most of the Washington state bands that I enjoy and that seem to be the great inheritors of Nirvana's teachings there is still one, a very special one, to be seen. I am hoping to go all the way up there, one of these days just to watch certain bands play live in certain places. Until then:
I felt quite awkward too.
It takes a certain type of musician to get up there and do the whole deal on his own. It takes a even more radical type of musician, or male to simplify the matter, to get up there, be "naked" and honest about how he feels. Karl Blau plays it interesting, honest and free and that's what I most like about him. So when the concert was over I walked up to him, which is something I never do, and told him something nice, from heart to heart.
Now that I have seen most of the Washington state bands that I enjoy and that seem to be the great inheritors of Nirvana's teachings there is still one, a very special one, to be seen. I am hoping to go all the way up there, one of these days just to watch certain bands play live in certain places. Until then:
12.6.09
I find myself liking the old bands way better than the new ones so this must be a sign of me getting older too. And I actually find myself heavily disliking the stuff that kids enjoy listening to nowadays, well most of it at least, so I might sound boring to you. But all the crystal something bands and the 18 year old kid singing about how bored he is. Oh yes, and the raddest No Age band, I find them pretty annoying too.
Most of these 21st century indie music phenomenas are quite incomprehensible to me, namely in the short memento of their correspondent hysteria. I mean, I see the point but I also see that there must be a wrong side to rawness otherwise it would not sound so fake.
Nevertheless, there is a band that I have been listening to a lot, specially since the amazing concert we watched of them, and even though they are not that new they are now part of one of these fabricated excesses of attention, in a way mostly due to pitchfork, which is kinda of good for it gives us access to videos like the one below where you can so easily see what kind of rawness certain people from my generation miss in the new alternative crap. I hope they can keep on climbing the same stairs they've climbed so far no matter what the kids will like in a year from now.
Most of these 21st century indie music phenomenas are quite incomprehensible to me, namely in the short memento of their correspondent hysteria. I mean, I see the point but I also see that there must be a wrong side to rawness otherwise it would not sound so fake.
Nevertheless, there is a band that I have been listening to a lot, specially since the amazing concert we watched of them, and even though they are not that new they are now part of one of these fabricated excesses of attention, in a way mostly due to pitchfork, which is kinda of good for it gives us access to videos like the one below where you can so easily see what kind of rawness certain people from my generation miss in the new alternative crap. I hope they can keep on climbing the same stairs they've climbed so far no matter what the kids will like in a year from now.
11.6.09
10.6.09
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